I want to talk about saying goodbye to the pain of your grief.
Let me be very clear:
This does not mean saying goodbye to your loved one.
This does not mean that you were OK with the fact that you have lost your loved one.
Saying goodbye to your pain means that you are saying goodbye to all the things that feel unfinished. All the things that you are blaming yourself for. All the things that you feel guilty about. All the things that you were mad at them for or all that they were mad at you for.
In grief, as in life, we start to tell ourselves the stories about what happened. About how the relationship went, about who did what and who said what. We have stories about what we should’ve noticed or who we should’ve been.
Our minds start to fill in the blanks and create stories about every little thing. It’s these stories that carry additional, unnecessary suffering. They create additional pain.
While you will never stop missing your person —and you shouldn’t, you love your person, you will always love your person and that lives with you—the pain that you’re in right now could be because the stories that you were telling yourself are not fully true.
We think they’re true. The stories feel very true, but they’re not actually factual.
So I want you to start thinking about the stories that your mind is telling you. Is it that your brain is telling you that these things are true but they’re not something that you can prove? If you want to explore this but find it hard to understand, sign up for a free Discovery Session with me so we can separate the stories that your mind tells you from the facts.